How Women's Bras Undermine the Muslim Nation

According to this article by Alaa al Aswani, author of The Yacoubian Building, Chicago, and Friendly Fire, a Somali woman was arrested and publicly flogged for wearing a bra. Her charge was that wearing a bra is un-Islamic because it is an act of deception and misrepesentation. (here is the news report in English)

So if you hear that Somali women gathered in the public square and burned their bras, don't be surprised and don't attack them for aping western feminists, who, rumor has it, publicly burned their bras a while back to declare their independence from male standards of beauty and propriety. These bra-burning Somali women will be just following orders of men who care too much.

Why a woman wearing a bra is problematic for these male guardians of morality? I'm glad you asked. There are two scientific explanations:

If a woman is wearing a Victoria Secret push-up bra, she makes her breasts more outstanding than they originally are, even from under a long, thick robe. The resulting cleavage can undermine the social cohesion of Somali society, distract men from their guns, and result in chaos and fitna. That cannot be allowed, you would agree.

If a woman wears a sports bra, one that flattens her chest and minimizes her wiggle factor when she walks or runs, she is denying her femininity and is trying to look like men. And we all know how dangerous that can be. Not only does it signal the demise of the Muslim family, but it can lead to the end of the human race as we know it.

This is why Kuwait already has a law that punishes men and women who dress and walk in a gender-inappropriate way. And in Sudan Lubna al Hussein, the pant-wearing journalist, was arrested, put on trial, and fined for her role in wasting the time of the men of the nation, busy destroying their country.

Somali morality police should be credited for going beyond the surface appearances of pants and shirts and for zeroing on the parts that matter. Today they are after women's bras, and tomorrow they will go for women's thongs and boxer briefs. So Muslim women everywhere, be warned. And behave.