When Our Vaginas Are A Curse
The thread on this blog discussing women's bodies (Women Dirtier Than Men?) and a video I ran into on another blog present this nagging question:
Why is it that we Arabs only speak of women's vaginas to curse them?
Think about it:
If a man is upset with his neighbor, he curses his mother's vagina.
If a man is angry with his enemies, he curses their sister's vaginas.
If a man is pist with his political leaders, he curses their mothers' and sisters' vaginas.
If a man stubs his toe against a table, he curses its maker's vagina.
Sometimes when things get heated, violence may be added for effect as in"my foot in your mother's vagina."
Some women use these curses but are frowned upon because this is primarily male language. My not using the Arabic words in this post is part of my resistance to this language. More honestly, it is a testimony to how estranged I am as an Arab woman from my mother's tongue when it comes to my body.
It is not an exaggeration to say that this is the "everyday" context in which the word vagina is used in the spoken Arabic language.
No wonder Arab women's vaginas have such low self-esteem!! They are a curse!
We need a new body language. And fresher curses.
Labels: Amal A's Vagina Dialogues, Arab women, Arabic language, sexism, sexuality
posted by Amal A @ 3:08 PM
45 comments
links to this post
45 Comments:
So, if men can curse vaginas, can women curse penises? It's only fair. :p
But seriously, maybe vagina is spoken as a curse, because vaginas are probably seen as something that's dirty.
I don't think they're being used as a curse, but rather as an insult to the person. If you curse the vagina of women who relate to him, you're degrading them. Because believe it or not, vaginas are held in high esteem in the Arabic culture. And people would kill the person who would even mention his mother/sister's vagina let alone speak ill of it.
I think you drew the opposite conclusion :)
Why do you hate men,peace.
Sakura,
no equivalent penis curses exist.
qwaider,
so what u r saying is that when women hear men using the K-word in a fight, they should ulilate in joy because that's a sign of how valued their vaginas are!
But why don't I feel like doing that? Must be something wrong with me. Which takes me to Hamede's comment...
hamede,
You tell me since you seem to already know so much:
I hate men because:
1. I'm a lesbian
2. I'm ugly
3. No man ever chose me
4. All of the above
I just wanted to show you the opposite side of the story.
I don't think you're any of those. I think you're a fantastic lady. You might get a little hard on men sometimes. But that doesn't make you any less fantastic to me
Well, I never knew that was what they were saying in arabic. Oh dear, talk about things I don't want to know! It's SO sad!!
qwaider,
it's the same side of the story: in the name of "respecting" women's bodies, some fetishize virginity, commit "honor killing," put women in chastity belts... we can live without this kind of respect.
thank you for the compliment, but certainly you know that a woman can be fantastic and still be all these things. I was just highlighting the usual stereotypes of feminists.
Amal,
I think I made it clear where I stand against honor killing, as for chastity belts, when was the last time you heard of an Arab or a Muslim woman put in one? Some guy was crazy enough to make a Joke and you couldn't but seize the opportunity.
Of course a woman can be all the above and still be fantastic, I just know that you specifically are none of the above!
For god's sake, for once, just don't be aggressive against me because I'm a male!
Right on Amal!
It is really sad that a womens vagina is a curse, especially since men use it amoungst themselves.
I am interested in the fact that I think this insult to women is connected to the idea of honor like men have to protect a womens honor even if it costs the woman her life, her happiness, or her freedom. Both exist at the same time to oppress women, but we are told that this is not the case and that protecting our honor is for our benifit.
This concept of honor at its core assumes women are weaker, passive, and unequal to men, therefore having to depend on men.
It also individualizes the idea of women geting respect, instead of demanding/ fighting for it, collectively like in a womens movement, from society as a whole we are supposed to depend on our fathers or husbands for protection.
This is a far cry from equality.
kinzi,
Ya, ignorance is bless in this case.
Lena,
this concept of "honor" is about men not women. It assumes the woman "belongs" to the man. So when two men fight, they insult each other's property. When a man wants to humiliate another man, he rapes his women folk. It works. How else do u expalin that a raped woman is made to marry her rapist? It's two men settling the issue between them. How the woman feels is irrelevant.
from my understanding the k- words has more then one meaning, a woman's vagina and the f-word in english.
the curses you mentioned are refering to the f-word
Yes Amal, it is as if women are property.
The nuance is also that still many progressive Arab men still believe in this idea of honor even though they are against honor killings and they are against sexism. These kind of men believe that they are protecting women and respecting them by being in charge of women's honor.
Ex:Like your husband does not let you were skirt above the knees or a bikini because he has to protect your honor even though he does not belive in oppressing women. Even on this small scale honor inhibits womens freedom. I know there are worse examples, but this example of how a women's cloths can be stutinized is very frustrating for women as an evey day thing.Forget about having a real wardrobe misfunction!
I think the idea of honor should be replaced by the idea of equality and respect with out conditions.
The idea of honor is something that many non arab and non muslim cultures have as well, especailly people that come from a peasant society.
Under late peasant societies women had to have dowries and were married off more as a transaction or they were kidnaped or just forced into marriage.
I guess even people that mean well believe in honor as a term of respect.
This subject fasinates me...
anonymous says
"the curses you mentioned are refering to the f-word"
Not exactly. We have Arabic F-words. They are different.
The k-words are not a substitute: k-wording a man is insulting him via his women's folks' vaginas.
Ladies,I agree.Why should muslim women be the "guardians" of men's honnor?I don't think that's their responsability.There's a lot to do in this area.In the arab world,it's not the woman who needs emancipation:it's the MAN!!!Men have to free themselves from old conservativ traditions and bad behavior.We have to re-educate men.That's it for today and to all women,especially the arab women:don't give up the fight!(as Bob Marley said)
Riad,
I like how you put it. You sound like a feminist to me.
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This is great...haha...a friend and I have a growing list of positive / funny vagina sayings to give the 'vagina perception' a more positive spin... like 'grow a vagina' instead of 'grow some balls' :))
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Hello! Interesting article, thanks to author!
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Nice Article.
sounds like inner city pressure...
OMG! I'm laughing, but then I want to cry. How true, hilarious, but so very very sad.
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It's only natural that language evolves in which the vagina - the dirtiest human body part - is used as a curse. Women need not take this personally, it is no reflection on them but the reality is that the vagina is a dirty, messy thing.
In English we curse God. maybe in Arab culture to curse the vagina is like cursing God. Or cursing "the day you were born".
I believe that the point is not about whether men are cursing the vaginas of the mothers and sisters of their enemies or friends. The point, whether a man or a woman uses the K-word, is that they lost self respect. They forgot that they are supposed to be decent and humane.
Not to mention, in Islam, Christianity, or whatever religion, it is awfully sinful to indulge in such behavior. We commit sins every day, thousands of them. So I think that it is only logical to try and prevent ourselves from gaining extra sins by controlling our tongues.
Your mother, sister, or wife, are the most sacred women in your life. How would you feel if some narrow minded man or woman degrades them by mentioning their vaginas?
Please people, it is true that Arabs use this word daily, but let us try to stop such a thing. That's what makes Arab women so special. So sacred. So beautiful. Even the ugliest woman. As long as she is an Arab, she is wonderfully unique!
God bless.
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AND, why is it that women are blamed when a man rapes them? It is this apportioning of the blame for rape on women who are subject to it, rather than on the men who are committing it that really makes my fucking skin crawl. Why can't the men be expected to exercise some self discipline instead of being 'taken over by lust for the evil temtpress (who was gagging for it, by the way)'.
It is patently obvious, even to a simpleminded one eyed turnip, that males in a general sense hold a significant physical strength advantage over women. It is absolutely fucking ridiculous to assert that a woman has any recourse if a man decides to impose himself on her, other than acquiesce in the interests of avoiding a brutal beating/ killing once he's sneezed.
And that's really what it's about, isn't it ladies? Anyone else ever passed out from an orgasm? Anyone else still been able to feel it ten minutes later? Holy jesus mate, that's POWER. Add the ability to bear our young, look after them and ourselves and earn a living and the amazing advances being made by fertility science, PLUS the rapidly dropping numbers of male births, IN SPITE of gendered infanticide rampant throughout the world, and that's a hell of a lot of POWER to be feeling intimidated by. Aren't they revolting when they get their second and a half in the sun. Pathetic loathsome creatures who spend the larger part of their life seeking out this very moment and when it comes (intended) it's really rather sad, isn't it? This is the very purpose of the mighty Man, stuff of legends through the ages and the reason for (nah fuck it, I'm taking it all the way mofo) most, if not all of the unwarranted and frivolous destruction, disease, horror, violence, murder and yes, rape that abounds on this planet. Earth's potential for absolutely mindblowing amazingness socially, politically, intellectually and ecologically has been abducted, had a cowardly, desperate and pathetic penis desperately stuck in it, and finally it is left wanting more and feeling slightly embarrassed for the poor shrivelled wee thing.
I do not hate all men. I love good men who stand up and speak out and who conduct themselves with dignity and integrity. Just a shame most of them aren;t like that. To certain extents, not their fault, as they are only continuing a legacy that has prevailed for thousands of years. Cry me a river.
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the arabic woman must be emansipated!!! there are some help for your vagin payday loan. No curse toa vagina! Free to arabic vagina!
Hello girl excellent post about When Our Vaginas Are A Curse, for me my vagina is excellent i love it !! for my this is stupid women's bodies Women Dirtier Than Men?
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Hello girl excellent post about When Our Vaginas Are A Curse, for me my vagina is excellent i love it !! for my this is stupid women's bodies Women Dirtier Than Men?
This seems a bit overdone, not all men are expressed well, if you have any problems with Vigin or penis to buy something at Canadian No Prescription and be happy, to stop cursing the vagina of others.
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