Gay Muslims are redefining marriages of convenience: some gay Muslim men are looking to marry lesbians in order to stay in the closet and avoid Mom's nagging to get a wife. Of course, marriage was always the best cover, but while historically the man may not bother telling the wife he's gay or bisexual and chose deception instead, here we actually have an honest releationhip between the man and woman. Society, including Mom, is the only duped party.
The article focuses mostly on gay men and does not say much about lesbians, though it is implying in a"vice versa" slight of phrase that lesbians too are seeking gay men for similar marriages of convenience.
On a related issue, I wonder if non-virgins, who are not lesbians, may be interested in marriages of conveniences with gay Muslim men. This might be a viable option for the poor ones who can't afford the hymen reconstruction surgery. (thanks wyt rabbit)
Let's remember that the virginity fetish is not restricted to Muslim men. In Islam, both men and women are expected to be chaste. But in a patriarchal culture men tend to get away with things, and Muslim men are no different. Muslim feminists point out that many of Mohammad's wives were none virgins. On the other hand, there are plenty of American men who are so fixated on getting a virgin that they are eager participants in Asia's thriving sexual tourism. American women are having "vaginal jobs" in LA to retore their hymens in order to please their men. They are not Muslims.
These two articles, the second one in particular, are examples of how "Muslim sexuality" is usually framed in western discourse, a framing that underscores difference and backwardness.
3 comments:
Please see my blog, "Eye on Gay Muslims" - gaymuslims.org
I did check out the blog. The "eye" on gay Muslms is that of the "doctor" who wants to cure a disease.
I read about these kind of relationships in Old Hollywood, America, they are call "lavender marriages". Some of them do refer to the other as their life partners, and might even love each other...just not romantically.
The virgin fetish disgust me, especially its contribution to pedo tourism to Thailand where child prostitution is a problem the officials look away from. I'm so glad that Canada, on grounds of human rights, made an exception to this crime as one that can be persecuted in Canada, even if it occurred outside our borders.
The virgin fetish definitely have a /violent/ undertone to it. There are people who like the idea of educating an inexperienced lover, which is plainly controlling, and maybe a little creepy, but not necessarily violent. So much of the virgin fetish places the emphasis on the hymen though, especially the 'popping of the cherry'. Penetration that causes bleeding.
- Mercurial Georgia
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